'Boiling Piss' & 'We're Massive'
Spurs are currently operating like a drunk with a stolen credit card, and we are here for the chaos. From dropping £85m on a guy we only discovered was great after watching his YouTube video, to Sandro Tonali who was planning his romantic return to AC Milan before his medical..
Are we actually a serious squad now, or are we lumbering ourselves with a bunch of players who aren't up to the job? Remember how we spaffed the Bale money?
We talk Kulu, selling teenagers to Brighton, why Djed is coming home with the World Cup and we open Room 101. Matterface, you're up.
Analysis, laughs, irreverence, therapy.
With Simon Lipson, Kev Acott, Julie Welch & Stephen Pollard.
COYS THFC
Host
Simon is a former solicitor who saw the light and got the hell out of law before it broke him. He started a career as a stand-up comedian and impressionist in 1993, becoming a regular at The Comedy Store, Jongleurs and all major - and a few minor - comedy clubs around the UK and abroad. He has appeared on countless BBC Radio shows including Dead Ringers, Week Ending, Loose Ends and The Game's Up (lead impressionist) and also had his own Radio 4 sketch comedy show, Fordham & Lipson. His TV appearances have included Celebrity Squares, The Stand Up Show and Talking Telephone Numbers.
He created and hosted the popular Making An Impression podcast, interviewing top impressionists from the UK, Ireland and the USA including Rory Bremner, Jon Culshaw, Alistaie McGowan, Al Foran, Christina Bianco and Jim Meskimen. He was also the creator and host of The VARside Spurs podcast, before setting up Nice One Cyril in August 2025, which he continues to host.
Simon works as a professional voiceover artist.
Julie Welch is a legendary sports journalist, author and screenwriter who in 1973 became Fleet Street's first female football reporter. As a screenwriter she writes both screenplays and scripts for television, while as an author she has written both fiction and non-fiction. Some of her most notable works include the 1983 made-for-television film Those Glory Glory Days, which was inspired by her childhood love of football, and the books The Fleet Street Girls, the story of her experiences as a football reporter, Too Marvellous For Words, which describes her education at an all-girl boarding school, Felixstowe College, in the 1960s, the best-selling The Biography of Tottenham Hotspurand The Ghost of White Hart Lane (with Rob White).
Julie joins us every week on Nice One Cyril
Kev Acott is a grumpy, eternally optimistic writer, photographer, health inspector, university lecturer and therapist who wishes he didn’t have to support Tottenham and is haunted by the fact they haven’t won the league in his lifetime. His father was a Charlton fan who made the twin mistakes of moving to Enfield and not insisting his son follow his lead in supporting a less-traumatising team.
He is a music reviewer and biographer, has had several short stories, articles and poems published and is currently working on a second novel, in which key scenes include a drunken fight at the 1921 FA Cup Final and Jayne Mansfield’s visit to White Hart Lane in 1959. His favourite all-time player is Graham Roberts.
Stephen is a journalist and author who started professional life at the Evening Standard. He subsequently worked at the Daily Express, leaving in 2001.
He has been a political columnist with The Times and the Daily Mail as well as writing for The Independent and The Sunday Telegraph.
In November 2008, he became editor of The Jewish Chronicle and, later, Editor At Large, stepping down to concentrate on pursuing other projects. He continues to write a regular column for the paper and contributes to The Spectator, The Telegraph and The Critic magazine.
Stephen has been a Spurs fan since the days when they were generally quite good. Yes, that's a long time.