RDZ-BALL! Dominant, classy, organised. Are we actually becoming a football team? SOLANKE: CONFIDENCE, LOCATED? Two misses, one good goal. Good times around the corner? GALLAGHER! YES, GALLAGHER! Plus Sávio, Kudus, Archie and the magnificent Udogie. BENTANCUR’S BIG BONE-HEADED MOMENT Schadenfreude bites Maguire on the arse. ROOM 101 & THE COVENTRY…
INTERMINABLE INTERNATIONAL BREAK Some Spurs successes, but more injuries. Whoda thought? THE NEXT BIG THING The desperate ITKs have been rummaging around Germany and Brazil for players you’ve never heard of. MANCHESTER CITY: THE BILL Nearly a billion quid of alleged cheating, four Spurs Champions League places lost and a…
FOUR-P & KULU One’s out for a month. One might be back. Possibly. Maybe. Could be. Spurs medical updates: now available in horoscope form. ARE WE STILL SCARRED? Andy Robertson thinks so. We’ve got ten new players and got rid of 44, though, so presumably there’s more going on than…
ROCK BOTTOM - we started there alphabetically, now we’ve earned it. LIVERPOOL - more shots, more possession, more chances. Guess what. VILLA - well at least we broke our duck in a lost cause, but that’s 48 games without winning after conceding first. We’re allergic to setbacks. WHERE ARE THE…
No goals. Again. But hey, we didn’t concede. Paul Merson called Everton our cup final - we'll take a cup final in September, right? Tonali silky? More woolly. Injuries. Natch. Even PPPP is crocked. Thirty-minute Spurs. RDZ says that’s all we’ve currently got in the tank. Savio vs his teammates.…
60% possession, eleven shots, not a single one on target. We’ve brought in ten players but still lack a guy who can stick it in the onion bag. Mudryk isn’t ready. Tonali isn’t ready. Solanke isn’t ready. Udogie isn’t ready. Nobody’s ready. Except Richy, who's ready to catch a plane…
A routine win. Yes, really, even if it was against the Charlton youth team. Sávio played twenty brilliant minutes, scored, and immediately crocked himself. Mikey scored a banger and earned a loan to Köln. Then...Newcastle . Archie at right-back, PPP on the wing. We looked all right until we conceded.…
The more things change... Roberto De Zerbi claims we’re not a team yet and weren't ready. But why? The jetlag from the Australasian tour? The endless injury list? A deeper malaise? Meanwhile, we’ve handed him millions to shape his team. What if he flounces out in October? The next bloke…
This week, Simon leads the therapy session alongside Julie Welch (is your phone off, Julie?), Kev Acott (rapidly approaching a monumental 'I don't know' milestone), and token Scot, Barry Graham. We break down: • Hoffenheim Double-Header: 10 senior players missing, Mikey Moore running riot, and looking for clues ahead of…
A Spurs XI draws with Getafe, another barely scrapes past our own U21s, and Maddison, Udogie and Solanke are nowhere to be seen. Join Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott, and resident pessimist Chris Askham as they process the N17 pre-season panic. On this episode's menu: • Creative Block: Our…
What started with a casual declaration of a "BOMBA!" in the transfer market turned into 48 hours of flight-tracking madness on Spurs Twitter—only for RDZ to walk it back as a simple Italian translation mix-up! We tear into the ITKs who lost their minds over zero actual news. Then, we…
New Zealand offered Spurs horizontal freezing rain and a bunch of dustbins to beat. Onwards! Australia beckons. This week, Simon Lipson is joined by Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Dave Bradshaw. We dive into: • The Auckland Freeze: Why have we sent a huge squad 11,000 miles to play pointless…
Lucas Bergvall wants out, De Zerbi is flogging off the academy like Delboy, and Spurs Twitter has officially lost its collective mind. Fresh back from France, Simon Lipson leads today's therapy session alongside Fleet Street royalty Julie Welch (bringing love, joy, and industrial-strength profanity) and Cyril newbie Suzie Barnacle. On…
We spaffed over £240 million in the first fortnight of the window but fans are already complaining about our recent inactivity. Entitled or what? This week, we dive head first into the bizarre rumour mill: • Kroupi: Did Bournemouth ignore our £85m bid because the email slipped into their "message…
Spurs are currently operating like a drunk with a stolen credit card, and we are here for the chaos. From dropping £85m on a guy we only discovered was great after watching his YouTube video, to Sandro Tonali who was planning his romantic return to AC Milan before his medical..…
The summer window is already driving us insane. We dive head first into the endless Tonali and Mateus Fernandes transfer circus - can't we just buy both and "stop mucking around"? We break down the never-ending Savinho saga, Antonin Kinsky’s brilliant redemption arc as our new number one - or…
