Welcome to Nice One Cyril!

Kev Acott

Kev Acott Profile Photo

Kev Acott is a grumpy, eternally optimistic writer, photographer, health inspector, university lecturer and therapist who wishes he didn’t have to support Tottenham and is haunted by the fact they haven’t won the league in his lifetime. His father was a Charlton fan who made the twin mistakes of moving to Enfield and not insisting his son follow his lead in supporting a less-traumatising team.

He is a music reviewer and biographer, has had several short stories, articles and poems published and is currently working on a second novel, in which key scenes include a drunken fight at the 1921 FA Cup Final and Jayne Mansfield’s visit to White Hart Lane in 1959. His favourite all-time player is Graham Roberts.

Jet Lag, Brand Growth, Nothing Learned.
63
July 28, 2026

Jet Lag, Brand Growth, Nothing Learned.

New Zealand offered Spurs horizontal freezing rain and a bunch of dustbins to beat. Onwards! Australia beckons. This week, Simon Lipson is joined by Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Dave Bradshaw. We dive into: The Auckland Freeze: Why have we sent a huge squad 11,000 miles to play pointless games? Could there possibly be a financial motive? The Left-Behind Club: Kudus, Kulu, Benta, Sarr. Next season's midfield or will they some/all be off? Pre-Season Overreaction: From branding a 17-year...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Dave Bradshaw
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'Boiling Piss' & 'We're Massive'
60
July 7, 2026

'Boiling Piss' & 'We're Massive'

Spurs are currently operating like a drunk with a stolen credit card, and we are here for the chaos. From dropping £85m on a guy we only discovered was great after watching his YouTube video, to Sandro Tonali who was planning his romantic return to AC Milan before his medical.. Are we actually a serious squad now, or are we lumbering ourselves with a bunch of players who aren't up to the job? Remember how we spaffed the Bale money? We talk Kulu, selling teenagers to Brighton, why Djed is c...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Stephen Pollard
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Lowball Bids And Shredded Letters
58
June 16, 2026

Lowball Bids And Shredded Letters

The summer football drought is here - the World Cup being merely an American advertising opportunity - and we're fretting about all things Spurs. Micky van de Ven is playing left-back to accommodate a player we don't even own yet (and might not), we somehow have eleven centre-backs on the books, and Brighton are peppering us with a passive-aggressive bid for Vuskovic. Did the THST letter go straight into Peter Charrington's shredder? Do they speak for us anyway? We banish couch-potato e...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Barry Graham
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Who Stays, Who Goes, Who Knows?
57
June 2, 2026

Who Stays, Who Goes, Who Knows?

No boring 'End of Season Review' here. We all suffered that nightmare. Does anyone need reminding? Instead, Simon Lipson, the luxuriantly thatched Julie Welch, and the balding duo of Kev Acott and Dave Bradshaw hand out end-of-term grades from absolute shit to mediocre, and map out the impending summer chaos. Inside the Episode: The Squad Audit: Sorting the wheat from the chaff. Is Palhinha off? Will we survive Kolo Muani heading back to PSG? (Spoiler: Fuck, yes). Is Solanke good enough? ...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Dave Bradshaw
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Keir Starmer! Alyson Rudd! Piers Morgan! Our Boys Didn't Spurs It Up!
56
May 26, 2026

Keir Starmer! Alyson Rudd! Piers Morgan! Our Boys Didn't Spurs It Up!

Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Eady Hurley process the sheer, unadulterated ecstasy of Premier League safety. We break down a nerve-shredding afternoon at the Lane, Palhinha’s clutch winner and Kinský’s heroic late save. Inside the Episode: The RDZ Masterclass: How the boss played part-tactician, part-psychologist to save a sinking ship, and why the board must back him or watch him walk. The Spine: Praise for Spence playing with broken jaw, Bentancur, Palhinha, and why Kinský...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Mairead Beeson
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Down To The Wire
55
May 20, 2026

Down To The Wire

We break down the Chelsea fallout and examine what it means for our Premier League survival. How do we solve a problem like Richy and Muani? Will RDZ make changes for Everton? Will Solanke be back? Inside the Episode: The Romero Farce: Why are we celebrating a £250k-a-week captain for simply staying in the building? Plus, why Kevin Danso remains the man for the job. The Loan Churn: We look at the graveyard of our youth academy and ask why only Noni Madueke ever made it out alive. Ro...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Lee Brown , Kev Acott
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Another Win, And Other Miracles!
53
May 5, 2026

Another Win, And Other Miracles!

We’re breaking down a surreal afternoon at Villa Park where Spurs didn't just win, we actually played football. In this episode: The Stand-outs: "Three-Lungs" Gallagher’s relentless engine, VDV’s return to godhood, and the surprising silkiness of the Bentancur-Palhinha pivot. RDZ's "Miracle" Speech: We discuss Roberto’s rallying cry to silence the "negative inner voice", avoiding medical team excuses, and how beating Villa would not be a miracle. Integrity or Insult? Was it a "lame ...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Rob White
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Scratching The Four Month Itch
52
April 28, 2026

Scratching The Four Month Itch

We started with 30 minutes of actual football and ended with a casualty ward and a goal so ugly only a mother could love it. But, hell, it's three points! On the Menu: The Injury Curse: Solanke out, Xavi out. Is the medical team to blame (spoiler alert: no), are refs letting opponents turn our boys into mincemeat, or is something else at play? The Muani Hill: RDZ is prepared to die on it, but we’re ready to move to Tel Mountain. We break down the Mathys Tel necessity. Kinsky’s Rede...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Stephen Pollard
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Just When You're Out They Drag You Back In
51
April 21, 2026

Just When You're Out They Drag You Back In

Spurs looked like a real football team against Brighton, led by a midfield that actually did its job and a Xavi Simons masterclass. But between Pedro Porro’s positional amnesia, the threat of a Flappy return and the ongoing Muani mystery, we’ve still got plenty to moan about. Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Dave Bradshaw join Simon Lipson to deep-dive the pros and cons of our performance and so much else. We look into our passing problem, why digital wayfinding is just what we needed at this...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Dave Bradshaw
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Three Wins From Six? Piece Of Piss*
50
April 14, 2026

Three Wins From Six? Piece Of Piss*

*Impossible One point from twenty-four, a squad that treats a football like a live wasp, and a new manager already looking crestfallen. We dissect the Sunderland disaster, ponder the Muani prank, revisit Lange’s January negligence and ask why Richy connects with the ball with all the thudding authority of a polite cough in a library. We also dive into the Romero riddle: were those tears for the club, or just the realization that his knee may have sabotaged his World Cup? RDZ has inhe...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Mairead Beeson
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De Zerbi Has Landed - With Excess Baggage
49
April 7, 2026

De Zerbi Has Landed - With Excess Baggage

Is Roberto De Zerbi a tactical genius or the world’s most expensive flight risk? This week, we dive into the Italian’s arrival at N17 — bringing high-energy Rondos, a fiery temperament and a salary that laughs in the face of the club's £831m With only seven games to save the season, we ask: will he stay if we go down, or will he flounce out the moment he spots a carton of UHT milk in the canteen? Also in this episode: Financial Fair Play-ish: Digging through the £94.7m loss—where did that...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Lee Brown , Kev Acott
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The Five Year Plan (Three Months Tops)
48
March 31, 2026

The Five Year Plan (Three Months Tops)

With Roberto De Zerbi imminent, we ask the tough questions here on Nice One Cyril: Is he a Poundshop Conte? What about the baggage, the tantrums, the flouncing out? And has he got decent hair? We discuss Ange revisionism and the board's troubling naivity. Plus Room 101 and our brand new and slightly pointless Guess The Ex-Spurs Player game. Loads more besides. Laughs, irreverence, therapy. With Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Rob White. COYS THFC
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Rob White
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Forest Fire: Back To Square Minus 257
47
March 24, 2026

Forest Fire: Back To Square Minus 257

Just when we thought it was safe... Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Barry Graham talk “nothing” goals, baffling substitutions, Porro’s positioning, Romero’s shuffling and whether Micky has lost a yard. There’s also the small matter of the pre-match hype and whether it served only to heap pressure on the boys and inspire the opposition. With 30 points from 31 games and Igor still searching for a league win, this has to be the end of his tenure. Surely? Room 101, a Churchill i...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott
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We've Turned A Corner (Pending VAR Check)
45
March 17, 2026

We've Turned A Corner (Pending VAR Check)

Simon Lipson is joined by Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Lee Brown to pick through another very Spursy week. First up: the Atlético Madrid horror show, Kinsky's studless boots, Igor ’s icy touchline snub. Then a look at the gritty draw with Liverpool — signs of life, or just another brief flicker? With a huge game against Nottingham Forest looming, we ask whether Spurs can finally produce two decent performances in a row. Plus: Vinai throws Levy under a fleet of buses, conspiracy theorie...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Lee Brown , Kev Acott
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Oh, Micky, Not So Fine
44
March 10, 2026

Oh, Micky, Not So Fine

Wolves won as many home PL games in a week as we’ve won since April 2025. Where's the next point coming from? Should we embrace relegation? Simon Lipson, Julie Welch, Kev Acott and Dave Bradshaw pick through the debris. The Red Card Club: Micky follows Romero into the changing room showers. Is his mind mush? Are the players scared by the scrutiny? Is there a mental health issue? The Great Escape: Solanke to Newcastle, Vic to Italy - anywhere will do - Micky to Barca. Will it be a transf...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Dave Bradshaw
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Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 14
43
March 6, 2026

Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 14

Kevin and Simon with their visceral response to the horror show against Palace. Do the players care enough? Are they trying? Igor fitting square pegs into round holes again. Is there a way out? It's straight from the heart. #COYS #THFC #TTID #Spurs
Guests: Simon Lipson , Kev Acott
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Have We Reached Peak Nothingness?
41
March 3, 2026

Have We Reached Peak Nothingness?

This week we attempt to deconstruct 90 minutes of absolute vapidity. From “Flappy” launching a free kick into the Thames to Gallagher’s invisibility cloak and Solanke playing so deep he was almost buried. Host Simon Lipson is joined by f-bomb flinger Julie Welch, eternal optimist-with-a-funeral-face Kevin Acott, and Spurs support group debutant Peter Willis. On the agenda: The match: a study in nothingness. Tel and Richy tried. The rest? Igor Tudor’s “complex problems” ...
Guests: Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Peter Willis
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Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 13
41
Feb. 27, 2026

Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 13

Simon Lipson and Kevin Acott discuss: - Gooners drubbing aftermath - Igor hinting at deeper problems - Porro, Danso back - will that help? - Conspiracy theories - Fulham Irreverence, dodgy predictions, therapy. COYS THFC
Guests: Simon Lipson , Kev Acott
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Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 12
39
Feb. 20, 2026

Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 12

Kev Acott and Simon Lipson discuss: - Spurs v Bottlers on Sunday - Igor's tactics and selection (not a clue) - Terry v VVD debate - Ledley was better than both - Poor old Brennan Therapy for Spurs fans. COYS THFC
Guests: Simon Lipson , Kev Acott
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Welcome To Omnishambles FC, Igor
38
Feb. 17, 2026

Welcome To Omnishambles FC, Igor

Enter Igor Tudor: a man with 11 jobs in 12 years and a no wingers policy. But he's a chaos specialist. So is he the right man at the right moment? And will he stay if we win every match including the Champions League? Stranger things. We bid a tearful farewell to John Heitinga after an era-defining four-week stint, and examine Igor's team of hatchet-faced henchmen. Also: The Penguin Defense: We consign "hands-behind-the-back" defending, amongst other things, to Room 101. Fact or Fi...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Dave Bradshaw
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Chalk, Cheese and the Giant Redwood
34
Feb. 3, 2026

Chalk, Cheese and the Giant Redwood

The City game was a tale of two halves: pathetic to dynamic, chalk to cheese. Was the formation shift down to Thomas Frank’s genius or forced by injury? We break down the "moral courage" of Xavi Simons, praise 'man possessed' Palhinha and a veteran-style shift from Archie Gray, and look into the "Giant Redwood" that is Flappy in goal. Inside this episode: The Solanke Saviour: Even an atheist can thank God for that goal. The 75-Minute Walkout: Principled protest or utter nonsense? ...
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Chris Askham
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Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 10
33
Jan. 30, 2026

Nice One Cyril: Extra Time 10

Fourth in the CL table, above “tiddlers” like Real, Barça, City and PSG. Second-best defence, Flappy apparently the best keeper on earth. We examine the performance and ask whether this was progress or just another glorious one-off. Are Spurs going to suprise us before the window closes? And if so, can they please not surprise us with bloody Raheem Sterling on a free? City to come. Another easy ride? With Kev Acott and Simon Lipson COYS THFC
Guests: Simon Lipson , Kev Acott
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Frank: 'Defend a bit better, attack a bit better. Simples'
32
Jan. 27, 2026

Frank: 'Defend a bit better, attack a bit better. Simples'

Burnley: missed chance or gritty point? Either way, we didn’t end their miserable run, so… progress? We dig into the numbers (not boringly, promise) and explore whether our best attackers are also our biggest problem. Plus: Odobert shows promise, Tel gets messed about again and Gallagher’s written off before he’s unpacked. Transfer chat goes suspiciously quiet, ITKs come up empty and we ask whether it’s possible to hate Arsenal too much ahead of City. Strap in. It’s Nice One Cyril.
Guests: Simon Lipson , Julie Welch , Kev Acott , Dave Bradshaw
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